Persona'L Problems: Phamily friendly edition
by Kisdota-The Freak Gamer
Summary: A series of in game snippets and different one shots featuring the Phantom Thieves and their partners.
1. First meeting pt 1

**Kisdota: Okay I'm back, just like I didn't promise with a new fic to read. Just so we're clear I am not doing a whole new novelization that would be monstrous to me. Let's see how this fic goes.**

 **So for the record I don't care what the anime and dancing spin off says I am calling the protagonist Akira Kurusu.**

 **As for shipping, for me I went with Futaba in my playthrough, but I don't know who to pair Akira with in the fic. Though during my playthrough while I did go for Ann first she and Ryuji did some interacting and I just felt like they go together so I ship AnnxRyuji. Then I saw Futaba and I just fell in love with her but I don't know who my readers will like me to ship with the most. Also I think my view on shipping has been ruined by all those walkthroughs on Youtube which all seem to go for the harem route.**

 **I got to be honest I don't fully think I can make this fic as fun as the first. I'll try but there'll be some roadblocks. This game was dark, like really dark. Persona 4 was fun and relatable, Persona 5 has a girl try to kill herself after being raped before completing the first level. It's like watching "UP" without the Disney Pixar humor added. But I'll try and make this fun if I can.**

 **Diclaimer: I do not own Persona 5 or the Shin Megami Tensei series.**

* * *

Persona'L Problems: First Contact part 1

"You've met with a terrible fate haven't you?" Arsene questioned.

His second day at school and already Akira could feel as though his life was over. Along with the release of his record, being late, imprisoned, nearly killed, and just being hated by most people who saw him Akira Kurusu now had a new friend following him. Someone in the form of a red man in a top hat with wings and a face similar looking to some kind of demonic broiler.

"The others seem to see you as something to be feared or hated," Arsene spoke. Akira tried to ignore him and continue walking to school, "You know you could try to say what really happened… though if these people are easily manipulatable then I would't want to be in their company either."

"… What do you want with me?" Akiria asked. He kept his eyes forward trying to ignore the floating spectral.

"Shouldn't you be asking yourself that?" Arsene asked him, "You recall the contract correct? I am you, your desires are my desires."

"Really? Then I desire you to go away," Akira ordered in a hushed tone.

" _Chuckle_ you're not that fortunate as I'm sure you're aware," Arsene told him, "What does it matter to you? I am invisible to those who do not experience the metaverse."

"Yeah, I was wondering about that," Akira continued to look around to ensure that nobody was watching or listening to his conversation.

"Besides you don't want to get rid of me, I can tell," Arsene told him, "I am a part of the very depts of your soul, your greatest desires are known to me."

"And what's that?" Akira asked.

"…," Arsene spoke but Akira couldn't hear him, " _hmm_? …. Well it seems I can't speak of the answer if you do not know the answer as well. I wasn't aware of such a thing."

"You don't know something about yourself?" Akira asked.

"Well I was just born yesterday," Arsene told him.

"I'm almost at school just… try not to get me noticed," Akira told him.

"As you wish, though you may want to speak to the one who dyed his hair before he speaks up about me," Arsene told him.

"Sakamoto? Wait why would I need to tell him?" Akira asked.

"Those who have been to the metaverse are able to spot me. Including the young cat and Saka-sack mo… _hm_ bit of a tongue twister your language. _Sigh_ I miss France," Arsene spoke.

"What's that supposed to mean? Wait I thought you said that you were me?" Akira said.

"I am… though I am also another who resides in the sea of souls," Arsene told him.

"That makes no sense to me," Akira said.

"Well I'm not the one who makes that rules," Arsene told him.

* * *

"Dude is he right behind me still?" Ryuji asked Akira.

"Yes he is, and I would prefer that you not speak as though I don't exist," Kidd told him.

Behind Ryuji was a skeletal man in a pirates garb riding a small boat.

"Are these guys permeant?" Ryuji asked.

"As far as I can tell there's nothing that will get rid of them," Akira told him, "I've been trying to figure that ever since this guy kept asking me questions."

"I'm merely curious of this new world and it's wonderous devices," Arsene cheerfully said, "This is a futuristic world to me with many new wonders. I can't help but glee at everything."

"It's interesting yes, but everything is too crowded," Kidd said, "I miss the sea, the open waves. Are boats still a thing out here?"

"They are, and so is piracy… though the second thing's not really something to wish for," Akira said.

"Good you'll have to take me sailing when you get the chance, I feel like all these towers will fall on us at any moment in this place," Kidd leaned back into his boat as the vessel continued to follow the two, "Cabin boy let's go already, how much longer till we reach our destination."

"I can't keep this up he keeps bugging me at home and Ma keeps thinking I'm going insane," Ryuji said.

"I don't like being limited, or being told what to do, you know pirate and all that," Captain Kidd just lazily looked up at the sky.

"And how long are you going to call me Cabin Boy?" Ryuji asked.

"When you earn a proper title and don't act without thinking. If we're going to be fighting together you need to sharpen your senses or you're going to do something stupid and get us killed. That kind of thinking doesn't last long in a fight, and I shouldn't have had to repeat to you four times that your mother couldn't see me," Captain Kidd said.

" _Jeeze_ , you know I loved that I had the power but I'd probably like it more if it didn't nag at me," Ryuji said.

"It's a form of love," Arsene said.

"Don't make it weird dude," Ryuji spoke.

"I think it'll be nice to have someone with experience in piracy and leadership," Arsene said, "Does that experience tie in with some person's memories but you try and not let it dictate you."

"Oh you know what it's like to," Kidd said, "Yeah it's a pain, I tend to not let little stuff get in the way."

"So… does this mean I was a pirate in a past life or something?" Ryuji asked.

"Don't- Don't think or ask about it," Akira told him, "I've been trying to figure it out and too many things don't add up."

"I apologize for not being able to explain my existence," Arsene bowed to him.

* * *

"Huh… you know I saw Morgana change into a cat I expected you to change as well," Arsene said.

"I'm not a cat!" Morgana said.

"Yes it was something that little gato complained about when he found out," Zorro said. A tall Persona with a thin lower half under a muscular looking upper half. He wore a black matador outfit and a large Z on his belt buckle.

"I'm not a cat!" Morgana said again.

"He's very clearly a cat," Kidd said.

"I'm not a cat! I just look like one!" Morgana argued.

"That's how you identify animals," Kidd told him.

"I'm not an animal," Morgana argued again.

"There's no need for hostilities among friends," Zorro said, "We have come to aid you in your quest for justice against the evil ones. Do you not wish to see the king fall off his throne? We know of a way to accomplish that."

"The king… wait you mean Kamoshida?" Ryuji asked.

"Yes, we heard what you two were talking about and we do know a way to stop him," Morgana said.

"How?" Akira asked.

"You remember that world right?" Zorro asked them.

"Kind of hard to forget a place when someone tries to kill you," Arsene said.

"Welcome to my world," Kidd spoke.

"Inside that palace is something called a treasure that holds that place together," Morgana said, "If we were to steal that treasure then the cognative world won't be able to hold together and his heart won't be able to hold in his twisted desires."

"Treasure you say?" Kidd questioned, "Been a while since I got my hand on any treasure."

"The chance to steal from a man who deserves it does sound entertaining," Arsene said.

"You're saying we can get him to just admit his crimes?" Ryuji said.

"But it isn't as easy or simple as we make it sound," Zorro said, "That place is literally guarded like a castle, with limitless shadows guarding the area and it will no doubt have a multitude of traps waiting for us."

"Also the theft of a palaces treasure has never happened before as far as I know. While stealing his treasure would stop his twisted desires it could also affect his heart in a dangerous way. If we're not careful it could even kill him," Morgana said.

"Kill him?" Akira questioned.

"It could-… I mean I hate the guys but killing him?" Ryuji asked.

"If you wanna cut out the middle man I'll kill him now. I'll trip him down some stairs drop something heavy on him," Kidd said.

"We could start a fire in his house when he's sleeping," Arsene suggested.

"Ooh yeah that'll give him time to suffer," Kidd spoke.

"Guys wait that's too far. I hate the guy but I don't want to see him dead especially if I have something to do with it," Akira told them.

"Well as much fun as it would be to feed the man his own fingers I believe Akira is right. It would be much more satisfying to see this man admit his faults. So that the pain would last him the rest of his life as he rots away in a cell forever hated and possibly forced to endure the same torture his victims have endured by the same type of people he's scored," Arsene said.

"He doesn't speak for both of us," Akira said, "But I would like to see him admit his guilt."

"But what happens if it really does kill him?" Ryuji asked.

"Won't know if we don't try," Kidd said.

"I just… I don't know," Ryuji said.

"It's fine," Akira told him, "Sorry Morgana but we might need some more time to decide on what we're going to do."

"Suit yourself," Morgana said, "I'll be waiting for you to change your mind."

" _Adios_ my friends," Zorro spoke, "I await the day we fight together once again," he said following Morgana.

"Guy seems a little too formal to be a criminal," Kidd said.

* * *

Ann quietly drank the soda Ryuji gave her. After her near-death ordeal in Kamoshida's palace she felt shaken up even with her newfound powers.

"So…" Ann spoke up looking around at the new group of people and invisible phantoms.

"Hello my lady," Arsene said.

"Right um… hello," Ann answered nervous at the presence of the three other creatures and a talking cat.

"Something wrong," Akira asked.

"Not wrong I guess… I'm a bit overwhelmed with everything that's happened. I keep thinking that whatever happened is going to turn out to be some kind of dream," Ann said.

"It ain't," Ryuji told her, "Sorry you had to get mixed into this mess, I told you not to follow us."

"You guys had mysteriously disappeared and were wearing weird clothes with ghost and a talking cat," Ann said.

"I'm not a cat," Morgana said.

"Did you think I wouldn't follow you?" Ann questioned.

"I suppose we could have taken some time to explain ourselves," Akira said.

"I'm rather glad you didn't," Ann's persona spoke, "To be honest I don't think I could have withstood another day being held back after witnessing that man's behavior."

Ann's Persona Carmen looked like some kind of Spanish opera dancer with a panther like face. Accompanying her were two small looking people with heart shaped heads. One of them was on all fours as Carmen used him as a small stool and sat on him. The other one just floated next to Carmen on his leash as she held on to him.

"I'm glad you gave me a chance to be free. Of course I don't know what made you think you should walk right up to the enemy," Carmen told her.

"I didn't know they were enemies, or even monsters. Nobody would think that," Ann said.

"And in the end we had to save you from a sex dungeon," Kidd said.

"Excuse me but I believe it was Ann who got out of her own hostage situation," Carmen said, "If anything you just created a slight diversion."

"Sure, whatever helps you sleep," Kidd said.

"You were pretty fantastic lady Ann," Morgana said.

"Yes, a power unlike anything I have ever seen miss Carmen," Zorro spoke.

"A bit of a question," Arsene said, "Those things following you?" Arsene pointed to the pair of little men Carmen was using.

"Oh they're just my Heart men," Carmen spoke.

"Are they a part of you or something?" Ryuji questioned.

"Technically yes though I see them more as accessories than people," Carmen said.

"Sheesh, is that what you see in guys?" Ryuji asked Ann.

"Wha- NO!" Ann exclaimed.

"She does use a whip," Kidd spoke.

"I'm not like that!" Ann yelled.

"Yeah! Lady Ann is a kind and caring soul," Morgana said.

"You just met her today cat," Kidd said.

"I'm not a cat!"

"Their desires matter not our madams are far more capable than you give them credit for. We should go out and celebrate," Zorro said, "surviving our latest harrowing victory over Kamoshida and our newest partners of course."

"Business before pleasure Zorro," Carmen told him, "I want to know what our intentions are against that man. Do we plan to do something to him for what he drove our friend to do?"

"Yeah, if you guys are going to go up against Kamoshida I want to help to," Ann said.

"Oh we do have something planned," Arsene said, "That palace we were at is holding something we need to steal."

"That place was how Kamoshida saw himself and the students, as a king who should get whatever he wants. But there's supposed to be a treasure that's holding that world together and twisting his ideas. If we can steal that then he'll go back to being normal," Akira said.

"He's right, if we can steal his treasure then we can get him to admit his crimes," Morgana said.

"Or it could kill him," Arsene said.

"I'm okay with either," Carmen said.

"Whoa no wait I'm not," Ann said, "How sure are you that it won't kill."

"We're not sure at all, the cat over here has never seen it happen," Kidd said.

"I'm not a cat!"

"But after what that guy did and now he's threatening us with expelling us just for standing up to him and screwing over my partners partner. I won't stand for a guy like him," Kidd said.

"Aren't you a pirate? Aren't pirates known for taking women?" Zorro asked.

"I had wealth and a title you think I needed to steal sex?" Kidd said.

"Pirates aren't exactly known for their fine treatment of women," Zorro said.

"I'm not even the same guy you're talking about!" Kidd yelled.

"Enough Zorro," Carmen told him, "We're mere copies not the real person, and even if we were none of us are innocent. I'm nowhere near Kamoshida's level of evil but I have toyed with men."

"Yes miss Carmen!" Zorro obediently answered.

"She's got him right under her foot," Kidd said.

"I feel like we're getting off the subject," Akira said.

"Then back to the matter," Carmen spoke, "Little girl are you really that worried for this mans life? Or for breaking a few rules."

"Wha- little?" Ann questioned.

"No one is going to stand up to him and if you do your life will be threatened like theirs," Carmen said, "will you follow the same rules that allow this monster free. Honestly taking a risk on his life is a kindness compared to the pain we should be inflicting on him."

"It is our backup plan if we fail to get his treasure," Arsene said.

"Look Ann, we ain't making you do anything. If you wanna back out you should," Ryuji told her.

"No, no it wouldn't be right for you guys to fight alone for me, I need to avenge Shiho no matter what," Ann said.

"Perfect," Carmen said with a smile, "Well then I suppose cheers are in order. Can our bodies drink tea by the way."

"No just passes right through you," Arsene said.

* * *

 **Kisdota: I'll cut these moments in half. It's a little hard to give personality to these persona's since they've all gotten their own personality in the beginning.**

 **Again I don't plan to novelize the whole game but I will do snippets of it here and there. If anyone has a good idea for a one-shot suggestion go ahead I might need to take request.**


	2. First meeting pt 2

**Kisdota: I honestly didn't think that many people would have that weird an opinion with RyujixAnn, I mean those two have history together. With YosukexChie I'm pretty sure they wouldn't have been friends if it wasn't for Souji honestly RyujixAnn seems to make more sense. Also while I like AkiraxFutaba I don't know which pairing for Akira I'll go for yet I'm gonna take some time to decide and see where it would be funnier.**

* * *

" _Sigh_ , why are we always running?" Kidd questioned once again lounging on his ship.

"We are thieves are we not? Running is part of the job," Zorro spoke.

After unlocking Madarame's secret vault of counterfeit Sayuri's the group had gathered at the dinner. Yusuke himself looked worn out and tired after having gone through his stressful event of finding out that his teacher was plagiarizing all of his work starting with his mothers.

"Don't you get around on your ship?" Zorro questioned.

"Who do you think powers this thing?" Kidd said.

"So you control it yourself? I didn't think you were quite as capable," Zorro commented.

"Shut up Spaniard," Kidd argued.

"You two, is now really the time to be fighting?" Carmen scolded them.

"Ah yes, forgive me Carmen," Zorro bowed.

"Fine whatever," Kidd said.

"Tell me," the new Persona questioned, "Are things always this erratic?"

"Only when we're relaxing," Arsene said.

Yusuke's new Persona was a tall man dressed as a Kabuki holding an absurd looking smoking pipe.

"You're certain that this group is capable of stealing from that man?" Goemon asked.

"Well this is just our second heist," Arsene said, "So yes I think my friends are capable of performing a second heist."

"Have you… always had these creatures near you?" Yusuke questioned.

"Creatures? Seems rather vulgar to compare us to common beast," Zorro spoke.

"Oh yeah they're with you forever, you can't get rid of them, and they talk all the time," Ryuji complained.

"Well what else are we gonna do all day? Our social activities are kind of limited as ghost," Kidd said.

"Are we ghost? I didn't think we were spirits," Goemon questioned.

"I prefer to think of us as guardian angels," Arsene said.

"Angels? Who would call us angels with our history. Do you honestly think Heaven would take any of us?" Kidd asked.

"They wouldn't need to give me a spot, I'd just take it," Arsene said.

"I'm sure I could convince someone up there to let me in," Carmen spoke.

"To think you had this kind of presence near me and I was unable to see it," Yusuke said, "They all have such interesting and different esthetics. I wish I could have drawn them they would have been such an inspiration."

"You're still going on about art? Even after all that?" Ryuji questioned.

"Of course, I will not let Madarame's disdain taste for art stop me from doing what I love," Yusuke spoke.

"That being said what are we to do about Madarame?" Arsene asked.

"How soon do you think he'll take some kind of action?" Akira asked.

"He'll most likely try to keep anything from interrupting his gallery on the fifth," Yusuke said.

"Which means we have enough time to change his heart," Akira said.

"Really? If you want I can save us the trouble and just finish him off myself in his sleep," Goemon spoke.

"That's our backup plan that our partners insist on not using," Carmen said.

"And if it does come to that don't do it in his sleep, make sure he's wide awake so he'll know he's in pain," Kidd said.

"Got it," Goemon agreed.

"Can we not discuss that so casually?" Ann asked.

"Yes, I'm not keen on the idea of finishing off my former sensei," Yusuke said, "You said that there was another way to change him?"

"Yes, deep inside Madarame's palace is a treasure. If we steal that then all of his twisted desires will vanish and he'll admit his crimes," Morgana said.

"We've already done it before with our old gym teacher," Akira said.

"I still think we should have killed that molester," Carmen spoke, "speaking of," she grabbed the collar of one of the heart men's leashes and lassoed the free end around Yusuke.

"What- _hrrk_ ," Yusuke started to choke as Carmen tightened a noose around the young artist.

"Whoa- Carmen," Ann quietly hissed trying not to alert the other people. Akira and Ryuji freaked out as well be knew not to make a scene.

"What do you think you're doing to my artist?" Goemon questioned.

"Oh I just want him to know what I'll do if I see him try to force my little girl into another nude drawing," Carmen spoke, "You won't try and blackmail her into doing something she doesn't want to again will you?"

" _hrrgh_ -no! No I'm sorry," Yusuke quietly panicked, "PleAARCkss… stop!"

"Should we do something?" Kidd asked.

"No I don't think it would be wise to get in between Carmen," Arsene said.

* * *

"And I thought Carmen was scary," Kidd said.

After fleeing Kaneshiro's palace with Makoto the gang had retreated to their hangout overlooking Shibuya. Makoto was clearly out of breath from their near death experience.

"I definitely won't try and piss her off anymore," Ann said.

"She certainly has more passion than we gave her credit for," Goemon said.

"She's okay I guess, for a stalker," Arsene said.

"Will you all stop it," Makoto complained, "I haven't felt this exhausted in all my life."

"Sustaining my full power after releasing me will do that, I don't know why you needed to keep riding me when you saw a perfectly good cat car."

"I'm not a cat! You saw me in that world," Morgana complained.

Makoto's new Persona was a motorcycle hiding a face behind a glass dome in the front.

"We were all in a hurry I wasn't aware of… this… what is all of this? I've been meaning to ask you when we left," Makoto gestured to all the other Persona around her.

"I suppose in our hurry we didn't get a proper time to introduce ourselves," Arsene knelt down in front of Makoto bowing his head and gently held her hand, "We are the Persona, the one's giving you the power to fight."

"I uh- I-I see," Makoto flustered at his actions.

"Dude stop making it weird," Ryuji said.

"How come you didn't act all gentlemanly with me?" Ann questioned.

"You seemed like you wanted a break from men after dealing with the last one," Arsene said.

"That-… yeah… honestly if it weren't for you guys I'd probably hate all men," Ann said.

"I know I'm not sick of them," Carmen said.

"So… Kamoshida and Madarame, all of you were able to change them using these Persona," Makoto asked.

"It's more complicated than that," Morgana said.

"But essentially yes, with our power we can right whatever wrong," Zorro proclaimed.

"And you're supposed to be my Persona?" Makoto questioned.

"Correct, you're my rider from now on," Johanna told her.

"But uh… why a bike?" Kidd questioned Johanna's form.

"Yes I didn't think anyone's Persona could take such a strange form," Zorro said.

"Do you have a problem with it?" despite her size and position Johanna gave a terrifying glare through her face shield.

"No no, w-we're good," Zorro quickly said.

"Diversity in a team is good," Kidd said.

"Just as scary as the original, we're going to be good friends," Carmen said.

"I do admire the sheen design, quite elegant," Goemon said.

"Yes… I've never been into cars but I can see the appeal here, the design is certainly interesting," Yusuke said.

"Wh- hey! I'm not something to admire," Johanna flustered at them.

"What do you expect? You're beautiful," Arsene said.

"P-Please listen to the blonde one and stop making this weird," Johanna said.

* * *

"…Futaba?" Akira gently knocked on the door.

The gang had successfully healed Futaba and destroyed her palace but the threat of Medjed was still there. While they had given Futaba plenty of time to rest they deadline was beginning to draw close. Akira was able to sneak into Sojiro's house while he was working hoping to check in on Futaba.

"Do you think now's a good time to remind you that I can phase through doors?" Arsene questioned.

"We need to do this discreetly I don't want to scare her off," Akira said.

"She's not a wild animal, she won't run from her sanctuary," Arsene said, "I hope she at least tidied up a bit since our last visit. I'm honestly surprised that someone could live in such a messy condition."

 _*beep beep*_

Akira's phone rang, looking down he could see that he was getting a text from Futaba.

" **What do you want?** " the text read.

"Nothing, I just wanted to check in on you. Also Arsene wanted to meet the new guy… girl… thing," Akira said.

"Akira, gender regardless I don't think we like being called its," Arsene told him, "Can we come in Futaba?"

" **Who's that?** "

"My Persona, you should be able to hear them all now," Akira said.

" **Those other things talk**?"

"Yes, wait doesn't yours talk?" Akira spoke.

" **She hasn't said anything since I got her**."

"… can we please come in?" Akira asked.

It took a few second before Akira heard the door click telling him that he could come into the room. Akira entered to see the same messy room as before. Futaba was sitting in her computer chair wearing a large oversized novelty mask.

"What is she wearing?" Arsene questioned.

"I don't know," Akira said.

"Anyway it's nice to finally meet you properly… why is the room suddenly bright?" Arsene questioned.

Futaba didn't say anything and just pointed up. Above them all was a set of five spinning neon green spheres, this was the underside of Futaba's Persona. The entire body of her Persona couldn't properly fit, the majority of it's body was sticking out of the room.

"Another interesting form," Arsene said.

"Uh… has she not spoken at all?" Akira questioned.

" _mn nn_ ," Futaba barely spoke.

"Excuse me," Arsene reached up into the middle of the Persona and pulled down a tentacle, he held it daintily like he would another woman's hand, "It's a pleasure to finally meet you, might I know your name young lady?"

"…n-… Necronomicon," she said, the neon green lights turned neon pink.

"Wait!" Futaba suddenly tossed he oversized mask off nearly hitting Akira in the process, "You could speak this whole time!?"

"S-sorry user Futaba," Necronomicon said.

"You've been hovering over me while I slept were you just staring at me- Oh GOD I looked up weird stuff because I thought you were a lamp!" Futaba yelled blushing deep red.

"You shouldn't be embarrassed, I already have your search history anyway when I intergrated with you," Necronomicon said.

"You have WHAT!?"

"I suppose she's just as shy as you," Arsene said chuckling at the two.

"G-Get out!" Futaba suddenly remember where they were and immediately started pushing Akira back out the door before slamming it shut.

"Well she's alive that much we know," Arsene said following him through the wall.

"Were you flirting with the UFO?" Akira asked.

"It's not what's on the outside it's the inside that counts. Though this may be the demon part of my speaking but I do enjoy what's on the outside with this one," Arsene said, * _knock knock_ * "You hear that Necronomicon? I think you're pretty."

* _Beep beep_ * " **Please leave** ," the text read.

"Wait that's not Futaba's picture, who sent that text?" Akira questioned.

"It seems that Necronomicon has the same wireless capabilities as Futaba," Arsene said.

"You could sense that?" Akira questioned.

" **Yes please leave**."

" **Hey who said you could get on my chat**."

" **Sorry**."

" **And delete my search history**."

" **I can't delete my own memory**."

"You're both in the same room why are you texting to each other?" Akira questioned.

" **Go away**."

" **Go away**."

"They're going to be good friends," Arsene said.

* * *

"You thought we were nothing but something you could play with didn't you?"

The Phantom thieves had all joined back together within Okumura's palace. The stress of facing against Haru's fiancé Sugimura and going against her father had given her the push needed to awaken her Persona. Sugimura had taken the form of a large robot. Needless to say the group was unstoppable once they joined back together.

During the finishing move Sugimura's head had come off, but since it was a robot it still had life/function in it. Haru's Persona didn't hesitate to pick up the severed head.

"But look at you now, you could barely handle us let alone have a chance to attack."

" _zzttzz_ high schoo-… play… toy- _zzzt_ ," if the head was trying to talk it didn't seem capable anymore.

"What delusions were in your head that made you think we or any woman or person are some kind of property. I wish you lasted longer in that fight."

* _cCRRrrcK_ * The Persona squeezed the head causing the metal to bend and wrinkle.

"Just so I could have hurt you a thousand more times, but now you can just remain as trash on the floor as you always were."

* _BOOM_ * the small head exploded before turning back into a pile of shadowy goop.

"Didn't you say her Persona was weak?" Ryuji said.

"shut up," Morgana whispered.

"Oh… oh my," Haru's Persona dropped the threatening tone and put her mask and fan back up in their regal spot, "Forgive me for my rather vulgar action, but I've been dreaming of doing something like that for a long time."

"You wanted to kill a rapist, trust me most of us are familiar with the feeling," Carmen said.

"Oh you won't believe how much I wanted to do that, she let me out only halfway just teasing me as I watched that man do as he want. As soon as we return to the real world I'm going to give the real trash a piece of my mind," Haru's persona said.

"Forgive me but our team has a bit of a no killing policy," Arsene told her, "well unless it turns into an emergency in which case you're free to do what you want my lady."

"It's Milady," Milady said.

"Guys can we go one day where we don't threaten to murder someone?" Makoto questioned.

"We've gone plenty of days without doing that," Zorro said.

"One week?" Makoto said.

"Ehhh… it could be a challenge," Zorro said.

"Stop finding people who deserve it," Kidd said, "There's people with body counts out there walking free and our leader is branded a criminal for a crime that's actually less harmful than the majority of the other actual crimes we've stopped."

"Um excuse me but… my father left, isn't that bad?" Haru asked them.

"You explained how this place works right?" Ann asked Morgana.

"I-I did, I think," Morganna said.

"I was listening, as should you have little page," Milady said, "This entire palace is separate from those in the real world, they won't know a thing and, other than your father, killing them in here unfortunately won't kill the real one."

"Ah yes, you were listening well," Zorro said.

"So does this mean we get a new teammate?" Ryuji asked, "So what should we call ya?"

"She already has a code name," Morgana said.

"Yes, you may call me Noir," Haru said.

"Ooh, black for French I like you already," Arsene said.

"Yes, I've always wanted to be a hero, but the Phantom Thieves are on the darker side of the law. I chose the name Noir to remind me of that," Haru said.

"Well as long as you're into it," Ann said.

"It seems like quite the elaborate backstory to your part," Yusuke said.

"I really like it. It's sophisticated, but still it's a rebel name," Makoto said.

"Well with that out of the way shall we resume our mission?" Milady said.

"Yes, but don't let your guard down this will still be dangerous now that they all know we're in here. We'll have to act quick," Morgana said.

"Someone's talking big again," Futaba said.

"We have our team back, we shouldn't comment on that," Nerconomicon said.

"Let us move then," Milady said, "though remember, my offer of finishing off whoever deserves it will always stand."

"I think my riders right we talk too much about killing," Johanna said.

"Do you not think they deserve it?" Goemon asked.

"Oh they deserve it, but we need to be the better people for whatever reason," Johanna said.

* * *

 **Kisdota: Got some time to knock this out. Still gonna be a while before I decide who to pair with Akira. If you have any ideas send them, the fun part of the fic is coming.**


	3. Road Trip

**Kisdota: Okay so I'm back, looking for work but this time I'm actually getting calls back so I won't have trouble looking for work. Here's the next chapter hope you all like it because now we get to have fun. Still trying to decide who to main ship in this fic and don't forget to tell me your request for one shots.**

* * *

(05/07, Mementos)

"Morgana, Transform!" Mona leapt into the air before vanishing into a puff of smoke. Out of that smoke came a large black van with a yellow stripe and blue head lights.

"Whoa! Dude!" Skull exclaimed in excitement.

"A car!" Panther exclaimed in equal joy.

"I didn't know you were capable of such a thing," Arsene said.

"Ah yes! It's something little gato has trained to do and it's made traveling through the mementos a breeze," Zorro said.

"Yup, just like this we can all get through mementos quickly," Mona said.

"How are you able to do that?" Joker questioned.

"It's how the world perceives cats, for some reason the general public thinks that cats can turn into busses. It's no different than how you guys change your clothes when you enter the metaverse," Mona said.

"This is way more different than changing our clothes," Skull said.

"Wait the public think cats can turn into buses?" Kidd asked.

"That can't possibly be true," Carmen said.

"Now then ladies first Panter?" Mona said.

"Dude this is sweet," Skull was the first to charge right in.

"Wha- hey! Ladies first Skull!" Panther rushed to stop him and the two of them started fighting for the first seat.

"Wha- hey! P-Panter Skull be gentle!" Mona cried out as they struggled. Joker merely walked in taking the last of the back seats.

"Alright let's head off!" Skull said.

They braced themselves for the car to start but nothing happened.

"I'm a car, I can't drive on my own," Mona said.

"I'll take care of this," Zorro opened the front driver door of the car and let himself in, "Just need to squeeze in and move the seat back a bit… just have to force myself in… _Rrrgh_ here we go."

"It's like watching a clown try to fit itself in a tiny car," Arsene said.

"Alright we're ready," Zorro's form was awkward, forced to lean his body towards the wheel while one of his legs stuck outside the window and it was clear his body had contorted into a strange form.

"Well you're far more flexible than I thought possible," Carmen said.

"Yes it's always a bit of a challenge to fit myself into the car, do you have enough room back there?" Zorro asked.

"… … …"

"Why aren't they answering?" Zorro asked.

"You're crushing them under the seat," Kidd said.

"WHAT?"

(Later)

" _HACK cough_! Oh god I thought we were going to die," Panther said.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT ABOUT DID YOU NOT HEAR US SCREAMING!" Skull yelled at Zorro.

"I'm sorry, forgive me lady Ann," Zorro apologized.

"And why didn't you say anything!" Skull yelled at Carmen.

"To be honest I was more interested in how Zorro was going to fit into that small car," Carmen said.

"You to? It was a bit mesmerizing," Arsene spoke.

"Any chance you could make yourself bigger?" Joker asked Mona.

"No, this is the best I could do," Mona said still in his car form.

"Well let's figure this out then, can you at least carry more like hold more weight than three humans?" Arsene asked.

"Well yeah, I could probably carry a lot more weight," Mona said.

"Perfect," Arsene hopped up and stood on top of Mona like he was riding a platform, "Zorro join me up here."

"Ooh sounds fun," Zorro hopped up and joined Arsene on top of Mona, "Not a lot of room but we can manage up here."

"You won't fall off right?" Joker asked.

"Of course not, our balance is far greater than the average mortal," Zorro said.

"What about the others?" Joker asked.

"Hold up, I got something," Kidd said, hopping off his ship he opened up a small hatch on the top.

"You have storage on that thing?" Skull questioned.

"Not that I have anything good to store but yeah," Kidd said digging around his ship, "here we are," he pulled out a metal hook attached to a long chain.

* _CLANG_ * " _MEEEOOOWWW_!" Mona cried out when Kidd tossed the hook and attached it to the back bumper, "DON'T JUST TOSS THINGS AT ME!" Mona cried.

Kidd ignored Mona as he attached the chain to another hook on his boat letting the ship float just above the ground.

"Making this boat weightless is much easier than driving it, I can carry Carmen if you can tug me along," Kidd said.

"Wait what? You and Miss Carmen" Zorro questioned.

"Will you be able to carry us all?" Joker asked Mona.

"Not if he tosses something at me again!" Mona cried out.

"You'll live!" Kidd said.

"Great, let's go then," Arsene said.

"A-Actually maybe Miss Carmen would prefer to join me on the car," Zorro spoke up.

"Mnn no I believe I like this," Carmen was already sitting on the back of the ship letting her legs dangle over the side, "This is nice it feels as though I'm on the water."

"Well if you wish to stay there then I'll just join you on the boat," Zorro said.

"There ain't any room just stay up there," Kidd told him.

"I can drive the boat then," Zorro said.

"What? NO stay away from my boat!" Kidd yelled at him.

"Zorro we're burning daylight let's just go," Carmen told him.

"Ah… of course let us be off," Zorro said sounding like he was defeated.

"… … …, guys!" Mona yelled.

"Oh right we need a driver," Panther said.

"So… who's driving?" Skull asked.

"Time to show my skills," Joker hopped into the driver seat.

"Please don't crash my beautiful face," Mona said.

 _*click*_ Carmen opened up the trunk of Mona and tossed in both of her heart men haphazardly like luggage. The heart men did nothing but lay limp like dolls and Carmen took back her spot back on Kidd's boat.

"Your Persona's weird," Skull said to Panther.

* * *

"Hmm… this could be a problem," Goemon spoke.

"Sorry, we were already strapped for room," Mona said.

Fox had already taken his spot in the Mona mobile but Goemon couldn't see any spot for him to take on their ride through mementos. Goemon tried to figure out a way to fix their problem.

"Kidd could you squeeze some room on your boat?" Arsene asked.

"I'm just above the weight and space line, I can't carry more without having to put in extra effort and I'll tire out by the first floor," Kidd said.

" _Sigh_ , and to think I thought you were reliable," Carmen said.

"You can walk if you want to," Kidd said.

"No I think I like it here," she answered.

"I believe I can make a spot," Goemon spoke, "Could you carry even more weight Mona?"

"Well yeah but we don't have enough sp- * _CLANG_ * _MWWAAAAAAHHAAAHAA_ THAT HURTS!" Mona cried out.

Goemon took his large pipe forcefully wedging the thin end between the doors of Mona's trunk giving him a new tail. Goemon stood on top of the pipe perfectly balanced on the implement.

"WHY DO YOU GUYS KEEP THROWING STUFF AT ME!?" Mona cried out.

"Don't worry, I used the space between your doors, I didn't break or scratch you," Goemon said.

"THAT DOESN'T MEAN IT WON'T HURT!" Mona cried.

"Guys can we at least ask Mona before we throw things at him?" Joker asked.

"Can we NOT throw things at me?" Mona asked.

* * *

"If you throw something at me again you're all walking!" Mona told them as a car.

"How deep is this place?" Johanna asked the team.

"Deeeeeep, we're not even sure but we'll probably die of exhaustion if we try to travel on foot. Each floor is miles long and we've been through over 40 floors already," Joker said.

"I'm not carrying anymore Persona she has wheels she can walk," Mona told them.

"Wil you be able to follow us?" Queen asked Johanna.

"Yes carrying you long distances requires effort from you," Johanna told her rider, "But I could carry myself and even another Persona like it's nothing."

"What? But a Persona would clearly be much heavier," Queen pointed out.

"Don't question it, just let it be, it'll go along faster," Joker said.

"So who goes on Johanna?" Kidd asked.

"I'd like a chance," Arsene said, "As long as she gives me consent."

"I won't if you keep making things weird!" Johanna told him.

* _CLANG_ * " _MEEEAAAAOOOWWW_ Why!?" Mona cried out while Goemon stuck his weapon in the usual spot.

"NO! No Goemon we have room on top now," Zorro told him.

"Oh… I suppose we do," Goemon realized.

"YOU COULDN'T FIGURE THAT OUT BEFORE YOU STUCK YOUR WEAPON IN ME!?" Mona cried out.

"Guys really, stop abusing Mona!" Joker told them.

"Right, apologies Mona I'll just take this out," Goemon said.

"Not all at once go slo-AAAAH!" Mona cried out as Goemon pulled his weapon out, "One of these days I'm just going to abandon this team!"

" _sigh_ , Looks like I'm buying tuna again," Joker said.

"Sorry about that," Fox said.

"Will you be able to ride that way? It doesn't seem very safe," Queen asked. Arsene was much larger than Makoto, Arsene decided to stand on top of Johanna as though he were riding a skateboard.

"I'll be fine, you don't mind me riding you like this do you?" Arsene said.

"Can you not make things sound weird!?" Johanna ordered him.

"You feel as though you're overheating… is that the proper term for you?" Arsene asked her.

"STOP. MAKING. IT. WEIRD!" Johanna yelled.

"Jeeze would you two get a room already!?" Skull told them,* _GLARE_ * "N-Nevermind!" Skull hid back in the care after Johanna gave him a deadly glare.

* * *

"Okay before things happen let's figure out an order, gently attach the ship hook to me- PUT THE PIPE DOWN!" Mona yelled at Goemon.

"This place is HUUUGE! It's like we're about to go on a raid, is there any loot down there?" Oracle asked.

"Shit tons," Skull said.

"This is gonna be so cool, I've never been on a road trip before. Oh I'll need a gun to defend myself to," Oracle said.

"But you're our support you don't need to worry about attacking," Fox said.

"Shut it Inari!" Oracle told him.

"Will you be able to follow us on your own?" Arsene asked Necronomicon.

"Yes, flying behind you all will be easy. I can even carry someone if you wish," Necronomicon said.

"I believe we have sufficient space," Queen said.

"Actually I'd like to try riding with Necronomicon," Arsene spoke.

"What? Why?" Johanna questioned.

"I'm always in the mood to try something new," Arsene said, "Why do you sound so disappointed? This won't be the last time I ride with you."

"I-I don't care about that, ride whoever you want," Johanna said.

" _Pfft_ that's such a tsundere thing to say," Oracle laughed.

"You better hope she doesn't learn what that means," Panther said.

"Well if there's room then I too would like to try riding the road with Johanna as well it seems fun," Goemon said.

"Fine, just watch your feet," Johanna said.

"Ooh, this is nice," Arsene took a spot on the side of Necronomicon sitting on her like a bench. His feet dangling to the side, "You fly very well it's like I'm sitting on air."

"Th-thank you," Necronomicon's green lights started to turn a shade of light pink.

"Why can't you complement me like that?" Kidd questioned Carmen.

"I said your ship was like riding on the water," Carmen said.

"Yeah once, and nothing else ever again you just keep telling me 'less lip more ship'," Kidd said.

"Less lip, more ship," Carmen told him.

"What does that even mean!?" Kidd questioned.

"O-Ow watch where you stand, why do you wear Kegu sandals?" Johanna questioned.

"Sorry, not used to balancing on something with such an uneven back," Goemon spoke.

"Well I'm sorry I'm not flat, a normal bike needs to fit their smaller rider-HOOOOOOOONK!"

Everyone in Mona was suddenly startled in their seats at the load sound Johanna made. Her faceplate seemed to fog up a bit at her embarrassed expression.

"Goemon… please don't touch me there," she instructed.

"Apologies," he said.

* * *

"So we're to trek through this long and deep underground railway system?" Milady questioned.

"Yup and it's infested with enemies," Joker told her.

"Hey Mona, can you make yourself any bigger? I'm loosing leg room," Skull said.

"This is as big as I get, I still can't change that," Mona told him.

"You make sure to watch where you put your hands," Panther told him.

"What? Why just me?" Skull questioned.

"You do seem the kind to take advantage of certain situations," Fox said.

"Me!? You've been trying to get a nude painting of Panther for months!" Skull said.

"S-Skull!" Panther cried out.

"What? That can't be true," Queen said.

"I assure you it's for purely artistic purposes," Fox said.

"Oh my god it is true, how long has this been going on?" Queen asked.

"I'm not saying yes to him!" Panther cried

"You never asked the rest of us to model," Noir said.

"Ah, no offense to you but Panther has a certain bit of a flair that I'm looking for," Fox said.

"You can model for him if you want," Panther said.

"O-Oh no that's okay," Noir said.

"What about me?" Oracle asked.

"You don't possess any charm or flair that I can tell," Fox said.

"Wha- screw you Inari," Oracle said.

"Can we not have this kind of conversation," Joker asked.

"So who are you riding with?" Arsene asked Milady.

"I believe I'll follow on my own. I don't like to pull them out but if I must," Milady said.

The sound of machinery activating and moving could be heard coming from the underside of Milady's body. The little tripod like feet under her had receded into her body letting her fall flat on the ground. Her body raised up again as little tank tread like feet appeared under her.

"Jeeze you have all those guns and tank wheels under you?" Skull questioned.

"Not the most dainty feet I could have but they get me around," Milady said.

"Well I certainly don't find them unattractive," Arsene said.

"Oh I'm certain I need not fear disappointing you," Milady said.

"Anyone think it weird that Arsene's like that with all the girls, including the UFO and bike?" Skull asked.

"What's wrong with that?" Oracle asked.

"Yes I think it's rather nice we have someone doesn't judge based on looks unlike certain people," Noir said.

"Wait you're not- oh come on I'm not that bad," Skull complained.

* * *

 **Kisdota: Alright I think this was a fun chapter. The Persona being forced to exist at all times makes me rethink other elements of the game. If you have anymore oneshot ideas be sure to leave them in a review.**


	4. The first taste

**Kisdota: Back, I'm liking some of the ideas that I've been given most of them talking about the evolved forms. For now I'm gonna give Haru a bit of star time I feel like she never got the screen time she deserved and with her inner violent tendencies I think there was a chance for her to get some funny events in.**

* * *

(Mementos)

A day after the recruiting of Noir and Milady Joker decided to get some combat training to introduce the two newest thieves into fighting. A drive through Mementos and the gang came across a group of three shadows who looked easy. Joker easily brought them all down to their knees allowing the gang to circle them and hold them all up. Everyone kept their guns ready and aimed at the downed Shadows though Noir kept her weapon close to her hugging it as though she were nervous about something.

"Please! I have kids!" Shadow #1 pleaded.

"You're a cognition of thought you don't have kids," Joker told him.

"I can make some! You! You look like you like making kids!" Shadow #1 pleaded with Panther.

"The girl and I call dibs on killing this one," Carmen's words caused the Shadows to start panicking.

"Everyone?" Noir spoke up softly, "Do we… have to kill them?"

"It's best we not give them a chance, after all they attacked first," Milady said.

"Yeah what's the problem? You didn't seem to have an issue back at your fathers palace," Panther said.

"Those were robots," Noir said.

"They were still Shadows," Fox said.

"Yes but they didn't act like… people," Noir said.

"Don't make the same mistake we've made three times it always ends badly," Joker kept his gun pointed at the Shadows.

"What happened?" Noir questioned.

"You show any type of weakness to Shadows they'll take advantage of you. It happens every single time," Arsene spoke.

"The first time my little girl wanted to spare them they tried to stab her in the back," Carmen said.

"They were Pixie's I thought they were kinder," Panther argued.

"My Artist didn't think it would be beautiful to take down a weakened opponent," Goemon said.

"And my rider didn't feel it would be right to attack someone who couldn't defend themselves," Johanna spoke.

"Wait, Skull didn't make that mistake?" Oracle suddenly asked.

"Nope, cause I ain't easy to fool," Skull gave himself a proud pat on his chest.

"Yes congratulations you have that one victory masking the trillions of other mistakes you make," Kidd said.

"Are you certain that… they'll attack?" Noir questioned.

"Alright, we're doing this by experience," Joker placed his weapon away and turned his back to the Shadows, "See I turn around with no weapon this would be a good time for them to escape but instead they choose to attack me, Arsene."

* _SLAM_ * Arsene attacked the Shadow who made a jump for Joker punching it violently away from his partner.

"See they- oooh," Joker turned back around to see that the Shadow Arsene punched landed right into Noir. With her axe she held in front of her the Shadow landed it's neck area right onto the weapon. Noir just stood frozen in place as the two halves of the Shadow fell to the ground and began to dissolve.

"Oh dear… forgot our group got larger," Arsene said.

"Noir it's okay," Milady place her hands on her shoulders trying to comfort her, "I know that this isn't something you thought you'd have to do, but it gets easier as time goes- are you smiling?"

"H-Huh?" Noir placed a hand on her cheek feeling the curve of her lips, "I… I suppose I am?"

"You doing okay there Noir?" Skull asked.

"Yes… Yes I feel fine," Noir kept her eyes on the other two Shadows, a second later she approached them holding her axe up.

"Wait WAIT I SURRENDER-!" * _SLASH*_ Noir dropped her weapon on the head of the Shadow without hesitation.

" _phew_ oh that was… just thrilling!" Noir's smile suddenly grew larger.

* _SLASH_ * Before it could plead the last Shadow was suddenly killed. Noir just started giggling to herself as she watched the Shadow's corpse start to fade and dissolve.

" _Oooh_ that was fun that was… I-I've never felt such a rush from anything like that in my life!" Noir started exclaiming in a way that caused everyone to take a step back from her.

* _CLANG CLANG CLANG_ * Noir began attacking the remaining bits of the Shadow that didn't immediately fade away laughing as liquid black started splashing around.

"N-Noir," Queen placed a single hand on her shoulder, Noir didn't seem to notice as she continued to attack the downed Shadows, "NOIR!"

Noir stopped as she held the axe high above her head.

"They're gone… we're… ready to keep going," Queen told her.

"Oh… yes, yes of course," Noir put her weapon down, "I'll just… I'll just go wait in the car," she began the short trek to Mona leaving everyone stuck in place. Zorro and Mona seemed to grow wary at the approach of Noir.

"Soooo… are we going to talk about that?" Skull questioned.

"This seems more like something we keep to ourselves and never mention, for our own health," Kidd said.

"You didn't have anything to do with that did you?" Fox asked Milady.

"I don't think I did," Milady said.

* * *

"Hand over all the money you have," Joker told the single Shadow they had.

"Fine fine! Just let me go!" the Shadow tossed out a bunch of coins and bills, "Ya got what you want no _AARGH_!"

Noir took this moment to attack the Shadow from behind killing it, "YES! We did it!" Noir cried out excitedly.

"NOIR! We were supposed to let them go that time!" Joker said.

"Really? I thought they would take any opportunity to kill us," Noir said.

"Not when we take their money it… just don't kill them unless we give you the signal to," Joker told her.

* * *

"Give me your power," Joker told the shadow.

"You want me to work with you?" the Shadow questioned, "I suppose I could consider it if you answer a few questions first _GAAAAAAAAHHH_!"

Noir snuck behind the Shadow Joker was speaking to and jammed her axe right in it's back. The Shadow fell face down as Noir continued to cut it.

"HA! Got you!" Noir cried triumphantly.

"NOIR! I NEEDED THAT!" Joker yelled.

"What? Why?" Noir paused her actions.

"I turn Shadows into Persona, that's where I get my extra power!" Joker explained.

"Oh… I… see," Noir glanced down at the Shadow she had taken down, "I thought you were distracting it."

"Okay we're all done here, give me the axe," Joker took Noir's weapon away from her.

"But I'm still good to fight."

"No, no we're done go to the car you've lost killing privileges."

"But, I want to still fight-."

"No, go wait in the car."

"But-."

"No."

"… _aww_ ," Noir pouted as she went walked back to the van.

* * *

"I fear Haru recently," Kidd said.

Akira had the day off giving him a chance to hang out with his friends. Futaba and Ryuji met up with him in his attic playing his old game system with Morgana.

"I know, I feel like if she and I went after the same guy she'd turn out to be a Yandere. Has she been that scary in school?" Futaba questioned furiously pressing A as Akira's character approached her.

"No, to be honest I didn't even know she went to that school until a while ago," Akira said.

"What the heck happened to her? She seemed so sweet and innocent but then she turns out to be some kind of horror movie killer," Ryuji said.

"She's not a killer or crazy, she's just… had a rough time," Morgana argued.

"I suppose this is the result of her finally having some sort of control in her life," Necronomicon said, "After having everything in her life controlled against her will getting control of another's life must be intoxicating for her."

"You think it'll have any negative effects on her?" Arsene asked.

"Haru is a good girl so I don't think it'll lead her to becoming a murderer, but it will make social situations hard for her in certain situations. I don't believe this is something we can change about her rather it'll have to be something she adapts with. I'm still having a hard time getting my user to properly interact with others," Necronomicon said.

"I interact with other people enough," Futaba said.

"Online chats and video game chats aren't the same thing," Necronomicon said.

"It's a big step up for me compared to before," Futaba said.

"Maybe we should help her work off her stress, think she'd be interested in going to the gym?" Ryuji questioned.

"Are there witnesses in case things go south?" Kidd asked.

"There are camera's," Ryuji said.

"They're fake I checked, it's just to scare people," Futaba said.

"She doesn't need to be checked on!" Morgana argued.

"Don't act like you weren't afraid, I saw how you were when you let her back in you," Ryuji told him.

"Phrasing," Futaba said.

"We were just overwhelmed by her new striking presence," Zorro said, "Also by the fact that she could probably chop my head off if she wanted to… _shudder_."

"You're bigger than her, what are you afraid of?" Kidd questioned.

"It's not in my nature to hit a woman," Zorro said.

"You've hit plenty of women before, there were a bunch of obvious women in Kamoshida's palace," Kidd said.

"Those were Shadows, big difference between Shadows and real women," Zorro said.

"Oh the difference wasn't too noticeable," Kidd said.

"Oh Come On!" Futaba cried as she watched Akira perform another combo on her finishing her off, "Why do you keep killing me!?"

* * *

 **Kisdota: Hope this one was enjoyable, it's short but that means I'll have more coming out. Tell me what other events you'd like to see happen. The evolution part will happen but I'm going to need some time.**


	5. Featherman Rogue

**Kisdota: I guess people didn't like the Haru episode as much. I got the inspiration to write her like that when she said that line about shadows in Mementos, you know the one.**

* * *

(Evening)

Akira was working late at the cafe, the quiet and slow dinner rush was wrapping up and Akira was just cleaning what few dishes there were. Sojiro was going over the stock before they could close up.

* _SLAM_ * Right as Akira finished the last mug the door was slammed open by Futaba.

"Hey easy! You're gonna break my door," Sojiro scolded her.

"Key Item! We need to talk now!" Futaba said immediately, she sounded as though she had just finished running.

"What no hello for me?" Sojiro questioned.

"I hunger! And hello, I need to talk, alone," Futaba rushed over to Akira tugging on his arm.

"I mean… there's no more dishes so-."

"Great let's go!" Futaba didn't let Akira finish before grabbing his arm and tugging him upstairs to his room.

"Wait what about your curry?" Sojiro questioned.

"Just leave it on the table I'll get when I'm done … just put it on the table I'll eat it later when I have time," Futaba tugged Akira up the steps.

* * *

Futaba shoveled Curry into her mouth as Akira and Morgana sat on his bed waiting for her input.

"So did she just come up here to make us watch her eat?" Arsene questioned, "Because… I'm not… hating watching her go down on that food for some reason."

"It does seem like some kind of talent for some reason," Zorro spoke.

"Ther _ff_ _fif_ _HRRGH_ -!" Futaba pounded her chest trying to swallow her food, Necronomicon let out a tentacle and gently pat her on the back, "Okay so something weird happened when I was online looking through cameras at a hospital-."

"Why were you-?" Morgana questioned.

"When I found this," Futaba ignored him and pulled out her phone showing them a picture. It looked like a poster for a new TV show. Akira recognized the people wearing the matching spandex suits.

"So… Featherman," Akira said, he felt like she was getting worried over nothing.

"Oh yes you threw quite the fit when Yusuke messed with your figures of those people. What exactly is Featherman?" Arsene questioned.

"It's a kids show," Necronomicon said.

"Not just kids, everyone can watch it," Futaba suddenly argued.

"People in some super powered jumpsuits and helmets fight monsters every week," Necronomicon said.

"Oh so they're like us?" Morgana asked.

"No absolutely not like us, the plot of the show mainly revolves around them using teamwork and friendship to defeat the monster. Usually by overcoming some weakness with friends coincidentally having to do with a matching social problem and hitting the enemy enough that they blow up, despite the fact that no combustible materials are used in the fights half of the time," Necronomicon said.

"Sounds fun, I'd like to give this show a try," Arsene took a look at the picture on the phone again, "Hang on, these people seem different than the figures in your room, they look like they have playing card themes on them."

"Every year they have a new iteration of Featherman with a different theme. Well actually they've done ninja and dinosaur themes three times now," Necronomicon said.

"Yeah, that's what so weird about these ones. It's called Featherman Rogue," Futaba told him.

"Rogue, I like the sound of that," Arsene said.

"So… did you want to watch it together?" Akira asked.

"No-… w-well actually-."

"Futaba not the point right now," Necronomicon reminded her.

"Right, don't you think this years theme is a bit familiar?" Futaba asked.

"I like the name Rogue, wait are they hero's or thieves?" Arsene asked.

"Listen to this," Futaba pulled up a different page and read off the description that was describing the show, "The color names of the heroes are card based, the red one is named Feather Joker Red."

"Oh so like my name, but that just sounds like a coincidence," Akira said.

"Right, we're not the only people who use the thief theme or call someone Joker it's most likely a coincidence," Morgana said.

Futaba ignored them and read the character description, "Once an innocent man he was labeled a criminal by a corrupt politician he hides in the shadows working to clear his and his friends names. He also to find and retrieve the treasure of his family that was stolen from him," she read.

"Well apart from the family treasure part that does sound like me, but really this still sounds like a coincidence," Akira said.

"Feather Clubs Blue," Futaba read the next character description, "Once a star athlete his career was ruined when he was injured in a fight he was framed for starting, he works with Feather Red in the hopes to clear his name and bring his assaulter to justice."

"That… does that seem like Ryuji?" Zorro questioned himself.

"Well… two coincidences don't really add up to anything," Morgana said.

"Feather Heart Pink," Futaba continued, "A woman of beauty who works as a model in a corrupt business. After nearly losing her friend from suicide she works to find out who it was that drove her friend into a coma."

"Wait this is supposed to be a kids show?" Zorro questioned.

"Okay now I feel like this is too big to be a coincidence send me the link to that page I want to take a look," Akira said.

"Oh um there's not link, I stole this of the TV studios computer."

" _Sigh_ Futaba!" Akira scolded her.

"What? Necro spotted something odd so I did some digging and found this. They're clearly copying us," Futaba said.

"This does seem like someone knows something about us… you don't think we've been found out do you?" Arsene questioned, "You think they're going to try and blackmail us or tell the cops?

"Which one is worth more? Making a show about us or turning us in? Your economy is confusing in this time," Zorro asked.

"They could just do both couldn't they?" Arsene said.

"The shows been in production for a while, there haven't been any attempts at contacting us and we haven't found anything that would link you to the show without already knowing everything about us. There is a chance they just want to make money off the show," Necronomicon said.

"But show production is a risky business, even with something as popular as Featherman there's no guarantee that this show would make more money than turning us in or blackmailing us," Futaba said.

"Alright stop! There's too much we don't know, we should hold a meeting tomorrow we need to tell the others about this," Morgana said.

"Right, Futaba Necro try and figure out where all of this info is coming from and who's getting it," Akira told her.

"Okay that shouldn't be too hard," Futaba said.

* * *

(After School)

"Dude they're making a Featherman series based on us that sounds awesome!" Ryuji exclaimed excitedly.

The entire gang and their Persona's minus Futaba and Necronomicon were present in Akira's room discussing the new development. After showing everyone the page that Futaba had stolen showing a super hero version of their team.

"This isn't awesome, someone knows who we are," Ann looked over the article Akira showed them.

"I know that but still this seems pretty cool, we're gonna be even more famous now," Ryuji said.

"Yes at the cost of people knowing who we are, that's not the kind of fame you want for our field of work. Do you not understand how fame works," Kidd said.

"Has anyone been leaking information?" Johanna asked them.

"Ryuji?" Ann questioned.

"No! Why do you guys go blaming me?" Ryuji questioned.

"You're not the most subtle one of the group," Morgana said.

"Did anyone come to you asking about yours and our life stories?" Milady asked him.

"No!" Ryuji yelled.

"Why am I the black Featherman and Ryuji is the blue Featherman?" Yusuke asked.

"Is that what you're concerned about?" Haru asked.

"I feel that I should be blue and Ryuji black, our colors don't match us to our real life," Yusuke said.

"Good! Let them get the info wrong, the more inconsistencies the better," Goemon said.

"This magazine article isn't supposed to be shown for months, I had no idea Futaba was able to get this kind of information," Makoto skimmed the page that Futaba had sent Akira, "She's… not looking into our computers is she?"

"Knowing her she's already printed out your search histories for future blackmail," Arsene said.

"I really hope you're wrong," Ryuji said.

"What would you have searched for online that Futaba could use against you?" Yusuke asked.

" _Sigh_ poor innocent Yusuke," Carmen said.

"What? It's not something illegal is it?" Yusuke questioned.

"At his age it is," Kidd said.

"Can you guys stop it?!" Ryuji nearly yelled.

The sound of the shop door opening was heard downstairs, Necronomicon raised up through the floor before Futaba came up holding a small laptop in her arms.

"What news do you bring?" Goemon asked.

"Yes, are we going to need to prepare for an eventual attack?" Zorro asked.

"The studio will burn before our might," Carmen said.

"No no absolutely not please don't burn down my favorite production studio," Futaba said.

"And as a matter of fact there's a good chance that this problem will fix itself," Necronomicon said.

"Yeah I've been looking into the resources that they used for the stories of their characters and I'm finding out that most of it was just some weird luck," Futaba told them.

"What? That's impossible," Akira said.

"Those characters were too alike to be a coincidence," Arsene said.

"Yeah my guys mecha is a pirate ship," Ryuji said.

"And mines a panther," Ann said.

"Yeah I thought so too, everything they got for their story ideas actually came from the website look at this," Futaba opened up her laptop to show them all the pages and writing she had dug up from the studio's computers.

"They're pulling stuff from the Phantom Thieves website?" Akira questioned.

"Yeah there's a forum on there trying to figure out our backstory, a few things were being put together by a bunch of dedicated fans who kind of guess our backstories and theme's. One person who contributed was Mishima," Futaba said.

"Yuuki? Damn it why did he need to know so much," Akira said.

"Also by a bunch of other people like… oh for god's sake, 'CaptainSkull69'," Futaba glared at Ryuji

"RYUJI!" Ann yelled at him, everyone else groaned at his mistake.

"Okay so maybe I took a look at the sight and corrected a few things," Ryuji admitted.

"You told me you were looking up porn!" Kidd yelled.

"DUDE!" Ryuji yelled back at him.

"As mad as I'm sure we are right now he actually didn't do too bad a job… at risking our identities," Necronomicon said, "As dumb as it was people made most of the made up but similar connections on their own. They seem to think that these made up background stories aren't true in any way. While it does have certain similarities there are plenty of other made up elements that should keep people from linking us to the Phantom Thieves and that's only if they actually know who we are."

"Are you serious?" Arsene questioned.

"Heh see, no problems, we're all safe," Ryuji said, "Guess I didn't do too bad after all?"

"You got lucky Ryuji, extremely lucky that we didn't get found out!" Futaba yelled at him.

"I'm keeping an eye on you from now on," Kidd told him

"What were you thinking? Did you want us to be found out?" Makoto questioned.

"I-I couldn't help it, you should have seen some of the made up stuff that was posted. They thought we were some gang hired by a corporate overlord, they kept thinking that me and the other guys were dating," Ryuji said.

"What? Why would they think that they only saw us in public once," Yusuke said.

"Online shipping is weird, though that wasn't some of the weirdest stuff they thought we were doing some kind of business war thing," Futaba said, "And that we came from space."

"Regardless our identities are safe is what you're saying, right?" Morgana asked.

"Yup, which means next season of Featherman is dedicated to us!" Futaba said excitedly.

"Under no circumstance is anyone to brag about that, Ryuji!" Makoto stared at him.

"Got it got it!" Ryuji complained.

"So… is the show any good," Haru questioned.

"Yes I've never seen this or many TV shows as well," Yusuke said.

"Eh it depends on the season- ooh wait they did finished their first trailer I was hoping to show it," Futaba started pressing the keys on her computer.

"Oh it was released today?" Haru asked.

"uhhhhh-."

"Futaba you need to stop stealing," Akira told her.

"You told me to dig up whatever I could," Futaba put the laptop on the table and opened up the video she had, "They're not going to find out, the place has level 1 defenses on all their computers, half of them had the password 'feathermanrulz'."

"It's true, I was prepared for a whole night of coding to try and get through all their files and it took just one hour. Incidentally some of you should change your passwords from 'Password'," Necronomicon said.

"What else have you stolen?" Akira glared at Futaba and Necronomicon.

Futaba just smugly looked at them, "If you want me to say it out loud then-."

"NO!" Ryuji, Ann, and Haru suddenly said.

"Okay okay here it goes," Futaba pressed the play button.

The video starts with a view of Tokyo and the people.

* * *

(Featherman Rogue trailer)

 **The World deck, a stack of 54 cards with each holding the power of a dangerous demon within, a single card can grant anyone who wields on great power. For generations it has been safeguarded by a single family of thieves.**

 **However this mysterious deck has been stolen by a powerful group of politicians called the Gluttons who now use their power to control Tokyo under their oppressive rules and laws. The people now live in fear with no power to fight back.**

 **To fight this and retrieve his families treasure a new hero has risen and gathered a gang to fight this oppression. A new team of hero's who fight on the other side of the law.**

 **The Supplier.**

"All these upper people," a young Haru in business garb spoke, "They've seemed to have forgotten the difference between wealth and class. Well they still like to invite me to their parties so I suppose that lesson can wait."

 **The Forger.**

"My art wasn't supposed to be used for this," a serious Yusuke said looking over a half finished fake liscense, "But if these people refuse to look then they need to see the consequences."

 **The Insider**.

"My father believed in his force for so long, and now it's become nothing but dogs for some pigs," Makoto said looking over some case files, "If the law is going to cross the line then so must I to bring justice."

 **The Muscle.**

"These chumps aren't going to stand a chance against us," Ryuji said holding a heavy looking dumbbell, "I might not be a helpful for a lot but I'm still giving this my all."

 **The Charmer.**

"I'll keep their eyes on me," Ann spoke to the group, "I'll make sure this team is invisible to the crowd."

 **The Hacker**.

"I can see where you need to go," a young Futaba said looking over multiple screens, "I'll shut down all the security just wait for my signal."

 **The Veteran**.

"You're still too wet behind the ears," a small looking robot cat spoke, "You're still a long way away before you unlock the true power of your families treasure."

 **The Thief.**

Akira in his phantom theif garb was surrounded by a large group of police shadows. Reaching into his coat he pulled out a strange looking Red Joker card featuring an image of Arsene on the back.

"I'm a thief," he spoke to the crowd, "Here's your warning card."

Pulling out his gun he threw the card into the air letting it flutter in the wind in front of him before aiming his gun at the card with pinpoint accuracy.

"Henshin!"

* _BANG_ *

The card was shot and engulfed into flames. Akira's body was soon engulfed in fire coating him in a red spandex suit. A helmet featuring wings and a large red J adorned his head.

"Feather Red!" Akira made an overexaggerated pose, "Joker!"

 **Hero's on the wrong side of the law.**

 **FeathermanRogue!**

 **Coming soon.**

* * *

" _AAAaaahhhaaaAAahh_ ," Futaba hugged the screen drooling after the end of the preview.

"That was… odd," Haru said, "Is that usually how these types of shows work?"

"Pretty much yeah," Akira said.

"It's strange that those characters though made up had your name," Zorro said.

"What no they didn't?" Carmen questioned.

"The names for the characters that were shown were completely different from our own users," Nercronomicon said.

"Really? Huh… maybe I just really put a lot of you guys into that show when I look at it," Zorro said.

"Those fights looked really dumb," Arsene said, "I mean it was just a short moment but he was surrounded by like twenty enemies and they went after him one at a time why not just gang up on him?"

"And were sparks coming out of their bodies when they hit each other? What is everyone made of flint in that world?" Kidd asked.

"How did Tokyo turn into a totalitarian dictatorship? Are we just supposed to accept that?" Johanna asked.

"The villain's reasons for turning evil is usually revealed in the end of the series. Though half the time it's a stupid reason, but this one probably won't be explained using aliens," Necronomicon said.

"Guys you won't enjoy the show if you nitpick at everything," Futaba said.

"So… my character is a forger?" Yusuke asked, "I… suppose if it was for the team then I would be okay performing plagiarism."

"I wouldn't call copying ID's plagiarism," Makoto said.

"Wait so… what's my character supposed to be exactly? What does it mean by supplier?" Haru asked.

"I think you're just the person who gives us money and weapons," Morgana said.

"What? I can be more than that? Why would they just have me there just to buy things for you guys?" Haru argued.

"Well big operations always need to start out with clean money so I guess it would make sense that this team would have someone give them supplies," Morgana told her.

"But it seems like such a superfluous job compared to the others," Haru said.

"It's better than mine, what kind of job title is 'Charmer'?" Ann asked.

"I think you're the sexy distraction," Ryuji said.

"What!? They made Makoto a lawyer but I'm just someone who looks good?" Ann asked.

"Is that what I was?" Makoto asked.

"The pink Feathers usually get treated as the cute lovable ones," Futaba said.

"I can do other things!" Ann argued.

"…like what?" Goemon asked, "Don't you have a job that involves you needing to look pretty."

"Please don't start something," Carman palmed her face in annoyance.

"I'm more than just someone pretty!" Ann yelled at him, "You know what have other things to do I'm leaving!" she got up and walked out on the team.

"She doesn't actually have anything else to do today but now this is going to be a thing," Carmen followed Ann out the door.

"... So what was that cat? Is that supposed to be me?" Morgana asked.

"I think you got the animal mascot role, as an ancient family cat," Futaba said.

"But I'm a robot? Why would an ancient family cat have futuristic tech?" Morgana asked.

"It's not the weirdest thing you could be believe me," Necronomicon said.

"Will I at least have one of those suits?" Morgana asked.

"Eh the mascot usually gets a role so probably?" Futaba said "Sooo… you guys wanna see it when it comes out?"

"I mean… some of us will be busy so maybe?" Makoto said.

"Well I have nothing better to do since my little page seems to spend less time doing anything but working," Milady said.

"It's important work," Haru said.

* * *

 **Kisdota: Been busy sorry, I finally have some time in my new busy schedule but this was a bit tricky to figure out. I was writing this chapter then I realized I don't know how to portray a commercial properly in words. I don't know how well I did that chapter. But if people like this chapter I might make another Featherman AU a couple of times.**


End file.
